Being Part of a Large Family

My Grandmother 2015

Monday at 2:30 pm the world became a bit duller as a great woman of incredible faith and strength passed from this world to the next. I of course am speaking of my own grandmother, Elizabeth Sue, or Ma Suzie as her entire family affectionately called her. She was 92. 

I can say I honestly envied her passion to live and her strength but to say that I was close, physically or emotionally, to my grandmother would be a lie.  I know who my grandmother is by the family legacy she leaves behind.  I have grown up listening to stories of my Grandmothers life and even witnessed her maternal interaction with her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  She was a true matriarch to my family, which is quite large by average standards. My mother is one of seven siblings and I am one of 16 grandchildren.  Ma Suzie also had 29 great-grandchildren and 5 great-great-grandchildren.  

This brings me to my observations on having a large family. 

 Over the years I have read many articles and discussed the advantages of being part of a large family.  Generally people who are part of a large family structure are happier, learn to share and build relationships…wait what?  I must have missed that part.  Building relationships within a family that size is actually quite difficult.  As I look back now I realize my grandmother and I are what is considered a “missed connection”.  This is not a gripe or a whine but simply an observation.

 

I lived the majority of my life away from my grandmother, building my own family structure around my parents, brother, my own family and several close friends.  My parents visited “home” more as they got older but the strains of everyday life did not allow for much interaction with my grandmother while I was younger.  There were exceptions of course such as special events and holidays.  During those occasions her house, or whoever we were visiting, could easily be filled with 50-100 people so one-on-one time with anyone was limited, especially my grandmother.  The entire family fought to be near her and capture her attention and approval. 

She was always happiest with her family surrounding her.  This is how I think we are most alike.  
Her children - Joyce, Larry, Patricia (Mom), Lynette, Deborah, Shelia, and Larry. 

As I got older regrettably I did not reach out to her as much as I should have and that is something I will always carry with me.  But from my time with Ma Suzie, no matter how limited, this is what I learned of her:  She was a great lady, a provider of true Christian charity to ANYONE she met.  She was a pillar of strength and courage to all who knew her.  She was a role model to anyone within her community. She cared for the weak, the elderly and the young until her own health would not allow. She would not approve of me saying this, but she even kicked death square in the ass...a couple of times! She surrounded herself with family and friends. Although I did not spend my life around her she was definitely a part of my life, leaving a huge mark on who I am and who I hope to become.

Mom & My Grandmother

Her passing is felt and she will be greatly missed by all who knew her.  Thursday as we attend her funeral I am reminded it is not a funeral at all but a celebration of a life well lived.