To Build or Not to Build

“To Build or Not to Build” really does seems to be a major question on the lips of many con organizers and cosplay judges.  It creates rivalries and hard feelings, but it is certainly at the core of the cosplay culture right now.

This weekend marked yet another whirlwind adventure for me and mine to the big ole’ town of Tupelo, MS just in time for the 2017 Tupelo Comic Con. That's right, geeking out in the birthplace of the King himself.

Tupelo Comic Con is your typical hometown comic convention complete with minor celebrity appearances, vendor area, prop cars, artists, cosplayers / fandom community row, gaming tournaments, A LOT of panels and the obligatory cosplay contest.

It was the cosplay contest, more so the structure of the contest, at this particular con that really caught my interest.  TCC hosted what was essentially two separate contests.  One specifically for craftsmanship, the second one for overall appearance and the wearer’s ability to represent the character. 

The Craftsmanship Contest required that a minimum 50% of the costume must be constructed by the contestant.  A model could wear the costume but the creator must be present.  They also stated costumes which had already won awards in other costume contests were not permitted, requiring a completely new and original piece from each contestant.  This contest had more strenuous rules and offered more significant prizes than most I have seen.

Wonderland Duo Cosplay (Belle & The Beast)

Tanealya & Robin Burks (Disney Jedi Mashup)

The Closet Cosplay Contest was 100% focused on the appearance of the wearer and the costume could be created using any outlets available, so predominantly store bought, commissioned or thrifted costumes were moved into this category.  There were five awards but it was mostly for bragging rights and being able to strut your stuff on stage.

A little something for everyone but not all competing in the same arena.

Like most cosplayers I find myself interested in the never ending argument of whether store bought or commissioned cosplay should be allowed in the same competition with something hand built by the wearer? 

Blue Bunni Cosplay (Mystery Girl), Derrick (Pirate Crew of MSB), Lauren Knight (Misa), Mr. Fish (Captain Obvious)

Ok here is my official standing on this.  I don’t know. 

Anti-climactic, right?  Sorry 'bout that, but here is my reason for being indecisive.

I have the utmost respect for people who painstakingly handcraft each element of their costume.  That being said, I also can appreciate the cosplayer who purchased or commissioned the costume and completely OWNS THE CHARACTER. 

Heidi (Hawkgirl), Lauren Knight (Velma), Tenitia (Muse), Natasha (Harley Quinn)

In the past I have been accused of being a bit of a “build it yourself snob” but I don’t always have time to completely design and craft costumes for upcoming events.  My recurring roles as mother, wife, and my real world job don’t always allow for time, and being a parent does not always allow the expendable income.  Cosplay is an expensive hobby.

Personally, I love to sew and create, but I do not always find it is the most effective way for me to create my costumes.  So yeah I will purchase pieces.  I will happily forego sewing leggings if I can buy online cheaper than I can purchase the fabric.  However, there is ALWAYS something of my own creation in my gear and it's usually a major component. 

James of Brickhouse Training (Logan) , Kewpie Doll Cosplay (X-23)

For TCC my favorite Kewpie Doll Cosplay wore her X-23 gear replicated from the Logan movie.  Because the character is in street clothes, not the usual superhero getup, this costume is 90% store bought.  Her claws were hand built, but the jeans, T-shirt, and denim jacket are all off the rack.  She received a “Cosplay Choice Award” on the floor and much praise about how she embodied the character.  Let's be frank a moment, even an unbiased observer looks at this kid and understands she was meant for this cosplay.  Is it award worthy?  Depends on the contest.

Red Skull Alliance Cosplay (Captain America)

So here is my question to you…Who is at the real disadvantage?  The person who contacted a designer, spent a lot of money to have their gear custom built to fit their body?  They may look great but not always be able to communicate to a panel of judges, who more than likely handcrafted their own gear, how it was fabricated.  Or the person who built everything themselves but may not have the same skill level as a professional seamstress. Maybe it needs to be something each cosplayer addresses for themselves, but it may come down to finding your place by strutting on the floor and bypassing the stage.

So I say again, I don’t know.  I do know this, as long as you are happy with your gear, wear it and do not allow anyone, fellow cosplayer or judge, make you feel unworthy.  I know a lot of awesome cosplayers who fall into both of these categories.  Let your geek flag fly as you see fit and don't worry about what anyone else thinks, but understand that each event has their own parameters for what they deem worthy of an award.

Always my partners in crime...Miss Scarlett Fever
& Comanche Rose (aka MidSouth Wonder Womna)

Oh yeah add Kewpie Doll Cosplay
to my normal partners in crime!

with Big Daddy Cool

I cannot forget my REAL partner in crime
master of shenanigans, my other half
and "staff photog" Darrell :) 

Keeping with my goal of positive support of others I am featuring some of my FAVORITE local cosplayers in this post!  This is by no means all of my favorites just a few who had epic designs that sprung to mind!   

Cospositivity

Why do all my pinup cosplay's end up looking
like Snow White?

So I am reflecting on my experience returning from yet another con this weekend. I guess, truth be told, it's not just my experience, I shared it with someone close to me. 

MidSouthCon is a small local con that focuses on the talent of artists, authors, and cosplayers.  Not much in the way of big name celebrities or giant vendors, which gives it more of a hometown feel that is shared by most attendees.  The weekend is also packed full of back to back panels on anything from comics and anime to paranormal to fandoms and costuming.  This year I was interested in several of the cosplay panels.  One in particular that caught my attention was “Cospositivity” a panel about the official movement focused on promoting a safe a positive community for all cosplayers.  The panel was set to discuss hot button issues regarding size, age, and gender while offering tips on how to make your cosplay work for you.

All that being said, I did not make it to this panel. 

The reason is, I was distracted by a personal crisis, or at least what seemed to me like one.  Maybe it was more of an issue of principle that really got under my skin, but here it is.  I spent the afternoon supporting a fellow cosplayer friend who was met not by hostility, but by exclusion.  Wait, WHAT?!  Imagine this…you have spent months building your cosplay and, DAMN, it’s really good.  You show up at the event and you are having the time of your life interacting with con-goers, posing for pictures and answering questions about your build.  You see another cosplayer dressed in your same fandom and decide to go say hey and they TOTALLY IGNORE YOU! 

YEP YOU WERE JUST TOTALLY IGNORED.  This is what happened to my friend.  Not only did the other cosplayer ignore him, but responded to his presence by actively redirecting other people AWAY FROM HIM.  WTF is that about?

You might like to think this was an example of a single insecure person just being a total asshat and normally I would tend to agree.  However this is NOT an isolated incident.  Sadly I feel this has happened to the best of us.  I know it has happened to me & Miss Scarlett Fever on several occasions.  (Check out Miss Scarlett Fever pictured below with me as Kato & Batman).  I would figure us geeks and nerds would stick together but it appears not. 

Which brings me to the real topic of this post.

My success is not your failure.  I don’t know where the concept originates from but I can tell you it is a wide sweeping mentality and impacts the world of cosplay, costuming, pinup, photography, design…I guess all creative outlets really.

The success of another person does not mean you have failed.  People can appreciate you, me and twenty other people noticing the different levels of skill and creativeness showcased in each of us.  My followers and fans enjoy seeing me with the rest of The Memphettes crew and I love having “like minded” people around me.

In my “real life” I have spent a lot of time around VERY successful people and I have spent a lot of time around pseudo-celebrities.  What I have learned is truly successful people tend to celebrate the success of others.  This is an attitude I try to adopt personally…who you are does not mean near as much to me as how your actions enrich the lives of others. In the grand scheme of things there are no limitations on the number of people who can achieve success or victories, and how about next time instead of turning your nose up, try celebrating the achievements of others.

So when I hear comments about being cospositive I have to ask, are you really, or do you just want to appear open minded and accepting?  Lately it has been hard for me to tell.  Exclusion is yet another subtle way of bullying and can be just as hurtful as shaming.  When we engage in a social setting only to be excluded, it creates a loss of “sense of place”.  The basic need to belong has been taken away from us.  Parenting magazines teach us children exclude when they are seeking control.  Is this what we experienced this weekend or is it really just a case of social awkwardness?

Stepping past this particular issue, my crew had a BLAST at MidSouthCon, switching gears from pirate to comic to retro during the course of the weekend.  I enjoyed the all the panels I attended especially "Whisker Wise" and the good looking gents who presented it ;)  If I have learned one thing from my attendance at cons, it is that a single offense cannot be allowed to ruin the fun of the entire experience.  Sometimes we have to pick our pride up and dust it off before we put it back on the shelf and move along.  

By the way, I do understand that the phrase "my success is not your failure" doesn't apply in a foot race or a job promotion, but let's keep it in context and pretend I've said something prophetic and uplifting.

**Official D’elle Disclaimer**

I am VERY VERY INTROVERTED which sometimes equates me to “snob” or “bitch” for most people who do not know me.  It is this type of interaction (or lack thereof) which has left me very uncomfortable approaching other cosplayers in general.  Maybe we are all in the same boat.  If I appear to be unapproachable I am sorry and please note I am not.  I totally love meeting and interacting with other people who lead similar lifestyles.  I will also go on to say however, if I have had a negative experience with someone I will not interact with them.  Burn me once shame on you, burn me twice shame on me.

 

Southern Fried Pop Culture & ComicCon - Recap

This past weekend, several of the Memphettes and I were on hand at the Southern Fried Pop Culture and Comic Con in Jackson, Tennessee. Our mission was supposed to be helping out Toy Robot Photography, the official con photographer, but it ended up with us mainly paying dress-up and running amok like kids hopped up on Nerds and Mountain Dew.

For those of you who are not familiar with Southern Fried Con, it is a relatively small comic convention, but they have mastered the art of bringing the big con atmosphere. This is their second year at the Jackson Fairgrounds and we have to give them a huge “attaboy” for working so hard to build the geek community in the area.

There were several interesting celebrity guests in attendance, Sonny Shroyer (Enos from Dukes of Hazzard), WWE wrestlers, Rikishi and Grandmaster Sexay Brian Christopher. Rounding out the list was Santiago Cirilo from The Walking Dead. There were also several prop and movie car exhibits featured.

The cosplayer interaction at this convention made the whole event worthwhile for me. As always it was nice to see the more familiar faces but also nice to meet a few new ones as well. If you are a newbie to cosplay this is a great event to “get your feet wet”. You will see all levels of expertise from purchased Halloween costumes to elaborate hand built creations. SFCC hosted a number of community oriented cosplay groups which allowed for some terrific tip sharing discussions and opportunities to present the art of cosplay to the public.
 

On Saturday there were two cosplay contests, one for kiddies which is always adorable, and one for adults. They offered cash prizes for Best Overall, Best Male, and Best Female. I did notice the absence of a Best Group category. Maybe next year (nudge, nudge).

On Sunday, a HILARIOUS lip sync contest allowed participants to strut their stuff on the main stage while living out their rock star fantasies. Now that was a SHOW! Performances by Tennessee Blues Brothers & Big Daddy Cool and presentations by Dr. Mary Barrett, Psychic Medium and Phantasmic Ghost Hunters made for a weekend full of entertainment.

They only negative I can offer is minimal attendee participation through panels. This con was more vendor focused than many I have attended in the past. That's not necessarily a bad thing since the vendor area did have a great selection of items for even the pickiest geeky collector and the price points were very reasonable. I left with my share of goodies including several Bettie Page items from one vendors personal collection (yay me!) which made it worth the trip in my opinion. 

On a final note, I have to say I have been to a fair number of cons, both big and small. While the big ones have huge celebrity attendance and more to see, they also charge a premium price and cram as many people into a small space as they can because their motives are clearly mercenary. They don't care about the fans, they just want their money. On the other hand, smaller cons tend to suffer from lack of interesting guests and stagnant content, but have a more personal connection. Southern Fried gave some of the same opportunities of a bigger con without the price, while leaving me feeling sad that at the end of the weekend I had to leave it in the rear-view mirror and go back home to the real world.

So, Southern Fried, until this time next year, thanks for the memories.

Social Graces

Just a quick reminder / rant as we enter into official “holiday party season”…

The definition of social graces is “skills used to interact politely in social situations. They include manners, etiquette (the specific accepted rules within a culture for the application of universal manners), deportment, fashion and refinement (also known as sophistication).”

Etiquette is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group.

Let me start this post by LOSING all my social grace, poise and etiquette and say “What the FUCK is wrong with people!!”…OK I’m better now!

As you have read I involve myself with a group ladies call The Memphettes.  It is our mission to support, uplift and encourage one another.  However, there is a line which is occasionally crossed, in which my support seems to go right out the window.  That line is where there is a total lack of basic social graces.

First you need to understand social grace is about self-awareness and knowing how you and your actions are perceived by others.  I know, I know you like to think you don’t care what other people think about you.  You also know that is NOT TRUE.  As humans we are almost obsessive about it.  We get our feelings hurt when we find out a certain person does not like us and want to understand why. Perhaps, the reason can be redirected back to how you interacting with these people. 

As my group hosts and attends many events I have noticed too often as we interact with ladies from different trying to relate to one another there seems to be a lack of basic social graces.  Sometimes that is due to different lifestyles and sometimes that is due to age and inexperience.

So now let’s observe a few basic rules for going out with friends.  All of which should be common sense but obviously are not.  This is by no means a comprehensive list but the “4-year olds” guide version!

• Cell Phone Etiquette – STOP texting or checking social media all the time.  Please do not take calls while you are at dinner or events unless it is an emergency.  If you do not have enough self-control to stop playing with the phone don’t make plans with friends.  As you laying on your phone you are leaving your “friend” sitting bored.  Are you aware it sends the distinctive message you do not want to be there spending time with them?  If you do not want to be there and have to check your phone as a distraction you do not need to make the plans to begin with.  Netflix offers a better level of involvement.
  
  
  
  
• If you are scheduled to be somewhere in which people will be waiting for you to arrive please arrive on time.  This is an area I need to work on myself.  We all like to think our time is important but so is the time of others.
  
  
  
• Practice good table manners. Does that mean mastering how to maneuver a formal place
  
  setting?  No it means observe a few basic rules to making dining with you more enjoyable.
  
  
• Conflict is inevitable and even healthy.  It is all about how you handle them.  Conflict should be dealt with and never avoided.  Avoiding dealing with conflicts will only cultivate resentment and create animosity.  Instead of making assumptions about your concerns openly acknowledge them.  We all have basic problem-solving capabilities however when it comes to relationships we are ready to write off people based on what we think a behavior means.  Try to understand everyone’s situation is different and show some empathy.  We all live in the same world but in totally different environments.  Each of us are defined by the journey that has brought us to this place in life.
    
• DO NOT EVER …repeat…DO NOT EVER flirt or handle with another woman’s partner or spouse.  (Did I really just have to say that…yes I did!) I am constantly amazed how often other women, especially “friends” think it is OK to paw at and flirt with another person’s partner.  Do you know what creates a conflict faster than not understanding personal boundaries ladies?  NOT A DAMN THING!
  
• On the other side of that coin ladies, we can be classy and poised in the way we handle this
  situation.  Confronting another woman is not necessarily an opportunity to start a fight.  I find there is an art to this type of conflict resolution.  Remember being confident and assertive is not only attractive but it commands respect.  I am not one for cat-fights, I have more respect for myself than that, although I do occasionally enjoy watching the world burn….to the ground.  If you have attempted to handle the situation and hints are not taken then you have my permission to either unroll the stiletto out your hair or throw her designer bag across the bar…wait what!?!  That never happened…or did it?
  
  
  
• Just because you like to talk and have a lot to say do not dominate the conversation.  Others might have something important to contribute too.  I am an introvert in the world of extroverts.  I am reactive in conversations most of time.  Ask me a question and I will answer unless of course I am passionate about the topic.
  
• And finally always remember “please” and “thank you” courtesy, respect and gratitude go a long way. On a personal note…I believe in written thank you notes but it seems to be an art that is lost in this age of technology.  Taking a moment to write thank you notes tells the receiver they meant more to you than just a quick text saying “THX”.

Yes, I am aware my personal opinions and beliefs are not the same as everyone and not all people have the same moral compass as a “bar hopping rockabilly/ gothabilly heathen”.  I will pause and let that last statement and let that sink in a bit… 

So I will end with this…I try encourage the ladies in my life to live by the “Roadhouse Rule”, to quote the late great Patrick Swayze “I want you to be nice until it’s time to not be nice”.  

The Memphettes and Our Mission

Monroe, D'elle & Comanche

The Memphettes social society was created to encourage women of all shapes, sizes, ages, and backgrounds to find their inner bombshell or vintage diva. Based out of Memphis (bet you didn't see that coming) we are a group of ladies in love with vintage, glamour and pinup. Founded by Comanche Rose, Monroe Noire and myself, because we noticed a need for a group that supported each other versus tearing one another down.

It has become an unfortunate fact that instead of banding together in all of the challenges the female gender already face, that women as a whole seem to be driven by a need to compete and compare. I will even go so far as to say women feel the need to occasionally undermine each other, and we can be downright vicious about it.

Unfortunately, age does not always seem to remedy this behavior. Age does not always equal maturity. I hate to admit it but I see this mentality present within many of the communities I am actively involved in. I seem to continually meet other women who feel it is necessary to destroy the self-confidence of others in order to make themselves feel better. This behavior I do not understand.

We strive to love & uplift each another

The Memphettes was created to combat negative behavior and toxicity within friendships. It is our mission to reach out to other women to help them realize their strengths while encouraging each other to find our inner & outer beauty. Above all else it is our mission to teach other women how to love differently, not only themselves but each other. Shaming of any sort is not allowed!

encourage each other to be vibrant

I would love to say this is an easy task or I am 100% faithful to my mission every day. Sadly, I am not. I am human and fall into the petty gossip and negative behavior. But I do have an awesome group of ladies to support me when I am being a bitch and pull me back up to where I believe I should stand. Support is our goal, and we all have to work toward it on a daily basis. The challenge becomes putting aside our individual inner battles and self-doubt so we can be there for one another. It's something we can all benefit from.

celebrate the love & beauty we
find in each unique member

Now if you are interested in knowing a little more about The Memphettes we are a group of like-minded ladies with an interest in vintage home decor & furnishings, clothing & accessories and sewing who meet regularly to brunch, participate in community events and fellowship together in celebration of all things vintage. In addition to hosting Memphette outings, we have either hosted or made guest appearances in and around her community including vintage fashion shows for Southern Junkers Vintage Market, guest judge at the Resurrection Rat Rod & Bike Show Pin Up Pageant, Pints for Pitbulls and Hard Rock Cafe Pinvasion. If you are in the Memphis area and would like to be part of our group please feel free to message me!

Attending the Memphis Downtown Holiday Parade

@ the Chuck Parr Pinup Art Gallery Exhibit

Pints for Pitbulls

Vintage Fashion Show

Some of our events are family friendly

Grease Sing A Long

Grease Sing A Long

Vintage Shopping & Brunch @ Fuel Cafe

@ the Resurrection Rat Rod & Bike Show

Witches Brunch

Hard Rock Cafe Pinvasion

Rockabilly Fashion Show